Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
