grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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