True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
