Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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