He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
