How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
