I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
