Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
