Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
