I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
