eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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