you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
