and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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