How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
