I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
