holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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