am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
