We're facebook friends in real life
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Im part way to drunk.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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