Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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