During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
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