I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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