Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
