The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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