4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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