But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
