If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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