go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
