Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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