My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
