Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
