Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
no you cant smoke seaweed
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
