Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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