I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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