Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
