when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
