Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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