I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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