Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
