Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
