I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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