My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
