ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
