Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
