I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
