Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
