Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
