Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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