its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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