I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
