and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
