Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
