it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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