In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
