I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
