I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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