I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
