My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
