.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
