I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
