im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
