There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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