please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
