i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
