"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
